Home Sweet Home... ugh.

Well. I'm back.


Sunday: 5am start. I went to the airport early and was in a pretty good mood. We took the plane to Wellington, chilled a bit and I went off with my family.. nm happened.

Monday: first day of competitions. I was forced to have a bit of breakfast. Kept it down too. Did two performances and didn't freak out too much. I skipped lunch though.. and freaked out at the amount of calories I'd had anyway. I talked to my new twitter-friend P and she helped me feel better about it, and about how my friend was upset and I was all paranoid that she was mad at me.

Tuesday: Skipped breakfast, but A didn't let me go on stage unless I ate something first so I had half a muesli bar. Mrs L noticed it and was on my case too.. argh. I think I had sushi for lunch, and I had a teensy bit of pasta for tea but I tried throwing it up again. Failed miserably because my friend walked in, but she didn't work out what I was doing which was good. Went.. hyper at dinner and the boys were there and yeah. Tried scratching and breaking the skin on my arm but it didn't work.

Wednesday: Had hotcakes from McDonalds for breakfast, with a hash brown and hot chocolate. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY ISH CALORIES. FUCK. I felt like shit the rest of the day, and tried to throw up. I skipped lunch but had sushi for tea, and naturally ended up trying to throw up. Again. As a result I was late to the Gala concert, and made M late too because she was waiting for me. Ugh. I tried talking to T but she told me her doctor said it was a bad idea for her to get involved. So I went on stage feeling even worse and trying not to cry and yeah. Then we only got bronzes for all three of our choirs and I wanted to cry but I had to act tough because the juniors were sitting with me, and I was also upset because it was my last Big Sing ever and.. argh. I decided to try being optimistic.. got hyped up on sugar and got ready for the Student Function and danced the rest of the night. And it worked a bit. And then I didn't sleep until one am.

Today: One coffee later, I hung out with my Aunty and cousins. Didn't count calories and had a Happy Meal. Got back to the hotel in time to go to the airport, got on the plane and stuff, then sat in the back of the plane with the blind down singing along loudly to MCR with J. S looked back at me and looked worried, so I went up to see if she was okay and told her I'd talk to her when we got off the plane. Went back to my seat.. sung some more. Had another coffee. Got off the plane wearing a fake mustache (don't ask) and talked to S some more. She reeeally didn't want to go home. I left with Mum and texted S and talked about her problems.. I feel better thinking I'm able to help her in some way, but she really needs counselling. I hate how she's hurting so bad and she reminds me so much of me. I'm still texting her now, and reading Klaine fanfiction. How screwed up is it that I only read fanfic about gay couples? I know I'm bi and all but still. I read a lot of it, and more slash than anyone'd expect me to. I told a friend the other day that I'd just read a cool Marauder's slash fic and she was shocked. Everyone thinks I'm so innocent.. ha.